The Steve asks:
Why do you call yourself "Yuka Takeuchi Fan", anyway? And why do you still call yourself that?

And Yuka Takeuchi Fan responds:
To be perfectly honest, the moniker in question was decided on after three events.

One: At the ripe ol' age of 13, I wanted a free online e-mail account with which I could use for various nerfarious (bad rap sample) purposes.
Two: At the ripe ol' age of 13, I performed the Nightmare Combination of hitting puberty and seeing Yuka Takeuchi in an old anime review. I'm pretty sure it was in the now-defunct GameFan. Granted, it took a trip to GameFAQs (which may well have been how I found GameFAQs, being new to the Internet at the time) to get a fix on the name, but such was.
Three: At the ripe ol' age of 13, I was about as original as I am today, that is to say, I'm NOT.

So, having no real idea what else I'd possibly use, I just popped "yuka_takeuchi_fan" into the ol' User Name box over at Hotmail (which I no longer use, so don't bother sending stuff there). Combine that with learning how to use basic HTML not long after, and poof, a sensation (in the same sense that a mosquito buzzing near your ear is a sensation) is born.

And yes, not only looking at the site, but also listening to me talk on AIM or whatever, you'd notice a distinct lack of Yuka talk. LIST TIME AGAIN!

Reason one: Being the chauvanistic shit I am, I've since found faaaar bustier characters, although ironically some of my favorites are a bit... lacking in that department. Brain stem issues? You decide.
Reason two: Seen some of the latest V.G. games? How about the anime? Specifically, Rebirth and Neo. Notice something... off? Yeah. Takahiro Kimura's drawin' hand MADE those characters. It hasn't been the same since he moved on to other things and everyone in the cast turned into Every Other Saucer-Eyed CG Character You've Ever Seen. Although, points to whever designed that one Chinese girl. She's pretty cute...
Reason three: IT'S BEEN NEARLY NINE DAMN YEARS. There's a fine line between "cute infatuation" and "disturbing obsession" even I haven't crossed.

The reason behind not changing the name is incredibly simple. I don't feel like trying to change the URL, and I'm used to the nickname anyway.

'Sides, Yuka's STILL cute.

Richard Nixon asks:
Have you ever been in a fight? How bad did you get your ass kicked?

And Yuka Takeuchi Fan responds:
Believe it or not; I know you won't, during my sentence in high school, I was in two fights, neither of which saw me obtaining real damage. I chalk that up entirely to playing Final Fight and Hybrid Heaven way longer than was healthy in my youth.

The first one was just me lifting up and throwing a guy (and given my noodle arms, the show of strength STILL makes me wonder how the HELL I pulled that off) who was harassing a friend of mine, and he decided to fight back only with insults I ignored. He was a lot more friendly since the incident.

The second one was me against TWO people, both of which I'm quite sure were stronger than me INDIVIDUALLY. I should be so glad that I'm both one slippery bastard (most of what they did involved trying to grab and pull me away from the other guy), which until then I thought was only useful for cutting to the front of every line at the anime convention I'd ever been in, and that I played enough Streets of Rage 3 to know "Hey! Maybe you can kick people while they have your arms in their grip!" Plus I scored a totally awesome right hook to an eye.

The more belligerent types at school pretty much left me alone after that.

Sorry to hear about Watergate, by the way. That must've sucked.

The Confuser asks:
Wow. You really need to get laid, don't you?

And Yuka Takeuchi Fan responds:
You and me both, my cliche-infested 14-year-old buddy, you and me both.

I KNOW, though, it's almost as if short, ugly, quiet video game fans are not the kind of guys who get the ladies. I've been trying to figure that dilemma out for YEARS! Acting like less of a prick than usual, it's really not due to a lack of DESIRE, it's really due to the fact that most of the female anime fans, which I believe number in the thousands AT BEST, are mostly taken and/or kinda don't live within 1,000 miles of my house. Damn you, law of population distribution!

Oh sure, I suppose I could dump every hobby I've ever had, spend thousands trying to keep up with whatever clothing trends are going on this month, bulk up to the point where most people think I'm doing steroids, and get certain surgeries the details of which I probably shouldn't disclose. But let's face it. I'm frickin' lazy and even cheaper. Ain't gonna happen.

Hugh Jass asks:
So what's the worst video game you've ever played? Can you review it?

And Yuka Takeuchi Fan responds:
There's a LOT of bad video games I've played, and truth be told, it's probably "D. D. Crew", which you've already seen a review for. It's a very, very insidious kind of "bad game", as well. Most truly bad games, I've got enough sense to recognize "oh man, playing this is gonna be a waste" within fifteen seconds- the wonders of ROMs, and the fact that I am a LOT more cautious with my money than I was as a ten-year-old thanks to online review sites and whatnot are probably good reasons for this. Basically, most games I KNOW are gonna be unplayable, I just don't even bother with.

What makes games like D. D. crew so much WORSE is chalkable up to the whole "morbid curiosity" thing, and the fact that they're juuuuuuust playable ENOUGH. In my case, I knew the game had horrible characters, controlled like ass (there are several moves I found AFTER reviewing the game that are totally unintuitive and require guessing to discover, and no, they don't make the game any better), and was all-in-all cheaper than Mizuki Tachibana's asking price after eight beers.

But I kept on. Wanna know why? I HAD to see what a game THIS ugly and poorly designed had to offer. I HAD to know if this game could repeatedly top itself with its nonsense enemies. I HAD to know how the next boss would mangle the English language. I HAD to get through it for the same reasons so many idiots die performing stunts they have no business performing- to prove points that realistically, nobody will ever care about.

And thanks to my desire to ward other people away from it, yes, that means I beat the game TWICE. I know that there are idiots out there who will look at my review and say "aw, this couldn't be that bad", and to them, well, you're idiots. Die in a fire. I put that review up after tormenting myself for two hours to hopefully convince the readers of my site that have SENSE that that damn game will absorb chunks of their soul with its utter badness.

Folks, let me make this clear to you. The games that compel you to keep playing even when you know they suck, just to see how deep the hole goes? Ignore that voice in your head prodding you (since when has it looked out for you, anyway?). Fight the compulsion. Exit and get rid of the game at all costs. You'll thank me for the advice.

El Drunko asks:
Where can I find Milk Junkies for free download?

And Yuka Takeuchi Fan responds:
I will not dignify this question with anything more than a copy-paste from the last question.

Die in a fire.

Can I go back to the Ask Yuka Takeuchi Fan section?

I'll ask you something else. Can I go back to the main page?