Since I have apparently been brain-dead since late 2005.
January 1, 2007
Illegal: Downloading hentai movies off the internet.
Not illegal: Buying hentai movies off the internet.
Far more illegal: Beating my brother to death with a stick if he ever sees the movies.
Make your choice.
Seriously, if whoever is in charge of renaming hentai titles for American audiences doesn't stop trying to get cute, he will be beaten savagely with hammers.
Do they make grenades that specifically flush out anime-loving girls from their hiding spots whilst not alerting others?
Seriously, I'm against violence against women- it ain't cool- but SURELY exceptions can be made for psychopaths like Naru and Motoko, you know, the ones where either you kill them or they kill you.
If I'm not a beautiful snowflake, can I at least be one of those pieces of dust that hangs in the air forever?
Perhaps it's my paranoia talking, but I want my pre-nup to allow me to run a chainsaw through anyone I suspect of being related to cheating on me.
"Ikari Warriors" sucks.
You know what would be nice? If girls at conventions had their ages tattooed on their hands. Just to ensure no loli business happens.
I don't know how people can type entirely in internet slang. Doing that makes my head hurt.
Fun: Playing Maple Story.
More fun: Harassing every female player of Maple Story.
Less fun: Trying the same thing in real life and learning the concept of 'restraining orders'.
Walter never saw anime conventions. If he did, there would be two places he knew with no rules.
Speaking of which, John Goodman indirectly won me an art piece. Thanks, John Goodman!
If you don't like pizza, then fuck you.
You know what's fun? Acting like your INT score on MMOs. My friend, a warrior on Maple Story, with 5 INT: "I LYK SORDS"
Play upbeat video game music on your computer. Run around madly. Act like the child you left behind at age 17. It's frickin' awesome.
Fireworks bazookas. So lethal yet so exhilirating. Especially when you're on the receiving end.
Most of my hentai DVDs are hidden in the open. Of course, this means that the moment my DVD racks fall down, I suddenly clean that corner of my room with the speed of a thousand cheetahs.
You know, one of those days, you were waiting for William Shatner's karate chops to miss and just hit shoulder bone. Not because you didn't like him, just because you wanted to see the result.
Punch your barf bag before you open it.
Don't you wish your car had a P-Laser for those irritating traffic jams?
Who knew McDonald's was so packed on Christmas Eve?
Whatever happened to 'American Gladiators'?
Russell is way too damn fun to listen to in 'Bully'.
You've ran the mile, now add some excitement. Run the Mile With Scissors.
I swear, people will buy ANYTHING we put on a billboard outside McDonald's at a 500% rate. Just ONCE I want to see us try it with dog feces.
My remote is broken. I repair it temporarily by slamming my knee into it. Somehow it works.
Stop-motion animation. Gotta love it.
Insert random phrase here that means "Take me to the main page".
You somehow have failed to insult me, Yuka Takeuchi Fan! To the main page with me!