Great Scott! MORE Random Musings

It seems I can't get it all on one page anymore. Continuing on.

April 9, 2004

Forget pink sweaters. Breasts look REALLY good in a pair of overalls, especially when viewed from the side.

Sooner or later we're going to hit a point where our cell phones have so many extras that the phone function will be forgotten.

For some bizarre reason, one day I was complimented on my fingernails. My friggin' FINGERNAILS. What makes it so funny is that I'd let them grow out for three weeks at the time and I cut them with a device that looks like a cross between a pair of pliers and a pair of scissors.

I unintentionally cosplay as one of the Generic Dudes at least once a week.

Why is it I have this feeling that most of my birthdays from this point are going to be mostly me getting plastered and trying to pick up prostitutes?

I don't care what anybody says about this- I still make birthday wishes. However, now I generally wish for bunnygirl love slaves. I'm still waiting on 2002's.

March 10, 2004

I might leave my body to a college for medical science. I figure school's already taken my soul, so...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will have mercury poisoning within three weeks.

Never look a guy with strep throat in the mouth.

The next guy who says video games make us more violent gets shot in the face with a shotgun.

My life dream is to stumble into a year-round anime convention where everything's free and all the girls have a fetish for short, ugly morons who watch too much anime, have WAY too many perverted daydreams, play video games too much, and draw horribly.

At one time in our lives, every last one of us has wondered what it'd be like to be in a dirty movie.

I friggin' hate love songs.

I recently insult-reprisaled a girl who said my drawings have no curves and insanely large breasts with a 'so? You don't have either'. It. Felt. GOOD.

I've heard, several times, that people didn't like the inclusion of a character in the Variable Geo anime that seems to be meant to resemble the designer; you know him as Reimi's squeeze in the show. My response is as follows. Why the hell does anyone care THAT friggin' much about a character who gets maybe 50 seconds of screen time?

I wonder how the human race wound propogate if all we had left were girls and males who looked and acted EXACTLY like me.

I'm a great idea man. It's just that none of my ideas are ever good.

If I were to become a teacher, I'd probably have killed a student no later than my third day.

The formula for writing a successful doujin is this: "( h - p ) * a ; a being disregarded when (h - p) < 0 but lowers the score anyway when the art is bad", 'h' being the level of hentai, 'p' being the level of plot, and 'a' being the quality of the artwork. Wow. I guess 'Thanks Teacher' will score a good -(Avagardo's number) on the scale, hm?

You've likely noticed Hotmail's new redesign by now. The question I pose is this. I understand wanting to know how many e-mails you may get from people you talk to more often. But WHY would I give a damn about how many messages end up in my Junk Mail folder?

The only way I'll show up to a dance is if I can find a cheap enough hooker to pose as my date.

If I ever become a fighting game character, I want to have an attack where I papercut the enemy half to death by throwing printed anime girl pictures at 'im.

I still swear that one of the enemies from Lethal Enforcers was played by Alex Trebek.

If I ever get drafted into a war, America's gonna lose.

Someone suggested earlier I get into radiology (working with X-rays). I'm starting to buy into this. The pay's good, it doesn't seem that hard, and with any luck the radiation will either mutate me into a more desirable human or take 20 years off my lifespan.

What the hell was Megane-kun doing so damn RIGHT?!

Why I don't play computer games of today: no matter what era it is, I can't install more than two without having to buy a new hard drive.

Explain to me why the people who supposedly have massive trouble gettin' any in hentai are ALWAYS people who'd NEVER have that as an issue in real life.

After a while, most people refer to Densuke from Eiken simply as 'the lucky son of a bitch'.

I draw and write about as well as a paraplegic and a guy in a coma, respectively. That said, perhaps my idea of getting into comic/doujin-drawing was one of my worst ideas ever.

January 10, 2004

Found in a hentai character's fortune cookie: "You should not stereotype those you meet... ...will be a phrase you learn to despise the 10,000th time you are raped by a tall man with a bad tan and worse haircut this week."

Terrifying thought: I am actually considering trying to parody doujinshi.

Sometimes it just feels good to walk around in your underwear.

B-movies, as bad as they are, are fun to watch.

If I were to drop my entire collection of video game magazines on a person's head, he or she would invariably die.

Interesting how most of the people who tell me college will be great NEVER WENT.

Given how much people ignore me, I think I may one day grab a girl's breasts in a large crowd simply to see if I get noticed.

My scanner, for some reason, scans pictures at roughly 900% their normal size WITH NO PIXELLATION.

I have proof that temporal sub-space rifts exist. I have been the millionth visitor to I-Mockery 634 times.

Admit- as horribly-animated as Rei is, she's CUTE!

I hafta say, Dr. Marilyn was on to something when she built that sex android.

I can only guess at what my reaction would be if I were to come across a girl with a bust size equivalent to an anime girl.

I heard in passing, from some news source I wasn't paying a lot of attention to, that apparently, female bust sizes are on the rise as time goes on (contrary to appearance). If this is true, I only regret that I will be dead before I get to see what life is like when you have the entire cast of Eiken walking the streets.

I sound weird when I audibly swear.

Calculus has driven me to break two mechanical pencils.

I am typing this while I have a cold. Hentai manga has just taught me that it's hard for me to sneeze and be horny at the same time. I wonder if scientists know this.

I'll say it here too. It's funny how I haven't found an anime character with the last name Tachibana that ISN'T absurdly busty.

It's only a true fetish when you've had it all your life. As such, my obsession with large breasts IS a true fetish.

I talk WAY too friggin' much about breasts.

You would think that Azumanga Daioh, with its near-complete lack of fanservice, would not be anything NEAR my favorite manga. WRONG.

If not for this site, I would suck at everything.

My two best friends when I turn 21 will likely be Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.

I can only imagine the joys of buying my first hentai in a store legally.

It's best that you don't try to think about where the water you've drank has been or what's once been in it. Dirt, toilet paper, spent Kleenex...

Imagine a world where girls are every bit as horny as boys. So much happy.

It isn't fair. Boys have to wait until they're impotent to use sex as a weapon and by that time, not only are we too senile to notice, but our typical partners aren't exactly giving us a rise anymore.

Being horny is a total curse.

There is indeed justice in the world. It seems the X10 people have dropped off the face of the earth.

I don't know what I like more, finding music REALLY appropriate to a situation and playing it, or playing music REALLY inappropriate to a situation and playing it.

I NEVER want to have kids; if I turned out as messed-up as I am, I don't even want to know what my kid would be like. Luckily this'll never be an issue!

You didn't want to hear this in the Eiken gallery and you didn't want to hear it here; there's a chance that the rest of the Eiken anime might never become reality due to financial issues. As such, I propose that all of Eiken's fans, headed by myself, form our own chapter of the Yakuza and start making either cash sources or other studios offers that are difficult to refuse so that this may change. And the best part? You don't have to remove any of your digits and you still get to wear the cool outifts.

November 15, 2003

I don't know why but blue jeans look cooler than blue jean shorts.

When jocks and intimidating people look mad, it looks menacing. When I look mad, I look like an idiot.

People have always told me that I could grow up to be anything I wanna be. Oh, how I want to punch those people in the face now.

Rule of thumb you can follow in anime. If a character's outfit consists mainly of black leather, it's more than likely a villain.

Doesn't matter what time of the year it is or how long you've slept- if you have school that day, the morning will always be freezing cold and you will always be tired off your ass.

Bet you didn't know there's a bunnygirl poster of Naru and Mutsumi from 'Love Hina'.

Having taken several college classes, I conclude that anybody who doesn't know why college students binge-drink so much has obviously never taken college classes.

Boy, do people start listening to you when you don't want 'em to hear you.

Like winter? Move to the Midwest, official motto: "A Winter Wonderland from August to June".

For those of you who thought the 80's were the epitome of fashion disaster, I have two words for you: 'poodle skirts'.

If only real life were like the Internet- the only place where exhibiting a sarcastic attitude and a bizarre love for anime girls gets you fans.

I remember reading a book called Fahrenheit 451, and in it, the 'Denham's Dental Dentifrice' sequence is meant to raise questions about why and how our commercials are becoming nothing more than sound bites with no information within. For ME, it raises another question- what the hell is a dentifrice?

I read somewhere not long ago that Nigeria's the #1 happiest nation. Why shouldn't they be? Enough idiots have fallen for their e-mail scams to eliminate poverty completely.

I also read somewhere that women are more attracted to the Clark Kent style of person rather than the Superman style of person. By the way, I adore flat chests.

I have a theory how in Final Fight-esque games, just picking up a turkey or something increases your health THAT quickly- osmosis.

Okay, show of hands- who ELSE thinks that 'sweetest day' was just another crockashit created by females who think Valentine's Day just doesn't bring in enough flowers, chocolate, or nerd torture?

You have to wonder how any person would want a yearbook, or at least people like me- I sit and think to myself- 'Do I REALLY want to remember the years of my life when I started failing classes, retained my dorkdom, was officially considered invisible, and went ignored by anybody halfway cute at school?' At least they'll make nice fireplace fuel.

Y'know, if even one-tenth of the stuff that people say happens at these band camps actually happens, then I'm gonna sacrifice a month of my life this summer to go to one.

It turns out school WILL help you determine your career in life. After spending so much time failing calculus and being alternately ignored and abused by my fellow classmates, I'm gonna try to get on as a Mafia hitman.

Gotta love Japan. It's so ironic how the nation where suicide is a noticeable part of some people's lives is the one responsible for keeping me FROM suicide.

I used to wonder why seniors in high school were such assholes. Being a senior now, I now know why.

Why do people even give a crap about graduation? All that leads you to is an IMMEDIATE sentence of four years in college.

I hear that you make a lot more money if you successfully finish college. Yeah. See if you ever manage to put a dent in the enormous debt you stacked up to go there.

If anyone ever tries to argue with me, I generally just concede defeat immediately and agree with whatever the other person says. That saves me some energy and that's another 15 minutes of my life I get back without any fuss.

Geez, I sure hope girls either get brains or looks once I finally hit my twenties.

Phrase you'd never think I'd say: Say what you will about Pokemon but some of the girls were cute.

You might have noticed I'm a bit freer with the swear words lately, not masking as many up and upgrading my repertoire. Pretty @#%$in' bizarre, eh?

Fear is funny. You wouldn't think you could jump five inches using only your ass as a propulsion device.

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