Random Musings

Since I have apparently been brain-dead since late 2005.

September 11, 2010

There are some places where electric razors were never meant to go.

If you are thinking of moving to an area that is prone to rainstorms and your only option for internet is a satellite linkup, consider moving elsewhere.

You know what I miss? Chilitos.

Do they call it "Amsterdam Syndrome" when you're taken hostage by a hooker that you come to sympathize with?

I'm just saying, the oil spill could be taken care of within 24 hours with one well-placed lit match.

I strongly suspect that the "Double Down" sandwich is an attempt to actively control population numbers.

Bring me the head of the man who robbed Kyle!

I know that we Americans have many faults, but at least we wait until we leave the stadium to riot pointlessly.

I have the equivalent to a store brand of Yaffa blocks. They're known to the public as "discarded plastic milk crates".

Drawin' ain't easy. It's kind of like pimping except with fewer altercations with the police, and hats that aren't NEARLY as awesome.

I don't care what anybody says, Florida doesn't count as the South.

I always thought that it would be interesting to settle ties in Tae Kwon Do matches with ice skates.

Fuck you too, Tohru!

Never eat cheap ramen less than three hours before bed.

You know what I want to see? A supermarket or mall that suddenly decides to put a suspense movie's soundtrack into the muzak system.

It's never a good sign when your car becomes self-aware and decides to play "Red Light Green Light" on the highway without the prompting of stoplights.

I'm just saying that plastic hangers likely lead to fewer problems.

Drawing by candlelight doesn't really work.
Drawing by shoulder-mounted flashlight works even worse.
Drawing by shoulder-mounted-by-means-of-duct-tape works pretty well.

Violence may not be the right answer, but damn if it doesn't tend to be a pretty good guess.

Amuse your friends! Stealthily change their computer's background images to scenes from popular horror games.

All you need for a fun night- a brick of cesium, a filled swimming pool, and a really good blast suit.

You know what I'd love to see at office buildings? Loaded Shotgun Tuesdays.

I know that I could go for an economy that works entirely like old SNES RPGs.

I propose that beauty pageants add a Jeet Kune Do section.

I wonder if the Japanese complain when American cartoons are dubbed into Japanese.

I wonder what would happen if I took control of the mall muzak system and set it to play "Gone Guru" in an endless loop.

Why DO they call them 'munitions'?

It's widely considered bad form to ask a Yakuza member for his or her digits.

"Raw Danger!" is the best name for a video game ever.

According to popular belief, getting drunk to the point of stupidity is a pasttime. A better pasttime for you? Abusing the mental states of the same drunks for fun and profit.

Wang Chung your way to the Random Musings. Or 30 years back, whatever's cool.

My brain shall hurt less on the main page.